Let go and Let God

Sometimes you just need to let it all out. I've has a bit of a rough week. I have just been getting frustrated with everything and tired. I started noticing I was being selfish in my thoughts, judging others, and  just being unhappy. After a nicee lonnnnnggg vent to my friend I knew what I had to do. I've been doing the general conference 40 day and night thing where you read a talk from the April 2013 conference everyday! It seems as though everyday the talk speaks to me. It is always literally exactly what I needed. Here is the calendar





Anyway, I decided I needed to humble myself and come unto the Lord. I got on my knees and instantly I felt so much better. I poured my heart out and now I feel so much better. As I read the words of the prophet and apostles I know my Heavenly Father loves me. I know I was meant for these times and I know for a fact I was saved for this time. I have such a strong testimony of the plan of salvation. I am so grateful for this gospel. For the wise words given to us during conference. I am eternally indebted to my Father in Heaven. I love this church. I am grateful for my friends, for their support and encouragement. I know that as long as we do our best and try to stand by Him and follow Him, we will be happy. We will find joy in this life and we will receive blessings unimaginable from Him. I know these things to be true. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

I've got a friend in me

I want to dedicate this blog post to friends. Often times in life I find myself saying "I have no friends" or "forever alone" But the truth is, neither of those are true. I have a few very special friends, who lately, have made a huge impact in my life.

The first is Katelyn Tucker. We met years ago in the Hill Cumorah Pageant, as will most of my friends on this list. Her and I have the same birthday, anddddd are going to the same state for our missions. She has been there for me as I worked on my papers. She listened to me rant when my sister got her call before me. She understands my struggle of shopping for modest clothes, and we helped each other prepare for the temple. She is absolutely  an amazing friend! I know I can count on her to give the best advice and to listen to me! I am SO excited for us to be in Salt Lake City together! HOLLLLLAAAA :D

Mariah Mader is another very special friend. She is why and how I got through Highschool. She is the reason I graduated magnet. She supports me in every choice I make. She is so hardworking and determined, not to mention her intelligence.  I know she will always listen to my stories, and most of the time take my side. Adventures are always the best with her and she is always up for them! Although she is in college now (rocking it might I add!) I treasure her visits! We can be silly, funny, stupid, and even deep with each other. Isn't that the best? NOT to mention her family... Her mom takes me in and loves me, and I love her. And her twin?! ONLY THE BEST! She always has me rollin and because of her I started working out. Melissa is a great workout buddy! HA! AND they had me over for Thanksgiving! I sure do love Mariah, Melissa, Mommy and the family.. except Lucy the cat!

Ali Spears is next on the list! First I wanna say she is BEAUTIFUL. I never thought someone as beautiful as her would want to be friends with me, I ruin all the pictures :p HA! ANYWAY! She makes time for me during her busy college life. She understands me and gets me. With all my mormon struggles. I know she will be a great missionary too. She is so proud and I admire that! She is truly an example to me. I know I can count on her with my issues and my secrets. She will always listen. I admire that quality in others. Her sister Tara is also fantastic, and I look at both of them as sisters, and I am SO proud of Tara's choice to get married and he is a lucky guy! Congrats to these lovely sisters on their accomplishments <3

Elder Bryan Jacobson... The first and only guy I trusted with everything. He is currently serving his mission, but boy am I proud! He is so fantastic. He always listened to me, and knew what to say. His testimony is stronger than anyone I know. He just has this spirit to him. I know just by reading his testimony how strong his faith is. He listens. He cares. He is my best friend (that's a male). I wish I could tell him all about my life, but I want him to focus on his mission because I know he is doing the right thing. I Know one day he will be the perfect dad and husband. He is such a pure and perfect person. He is already being an amazing missionary and I am SO proud of him! And his brother?! Such a great example! And His brothers blog always makes me want to go and do!

Next up is Crystal. I love her. It's as simple as that. Her faith is strong and rock solid. She always says and does the right things at the right time. She has a nack for that. I am proud of her in college. Her testimony amazes me, and I love how outspoken she is about the Gospel! You go Crystal!

Jenna Workman... My mission prep companion. My friend. She is so funny! And modest... literally! She always says the best comments and never fails to make me laugh. She is a HOOT! HA! Anyway, I love her strength and how outgoing she is. I love how she's not afraid to stand up for what she believes in! I just love her. And She is THE BEST letter writer! I can't wait to get all her letters while I'm serving a mission!

Last but NOT least, my beautiful sister. Ashley. We don't always get along. We fight sometimes. We laugh. A lot. I am going to miss her something FIERCE! She is my sister. My best friend. She gets me. We study together. We laugh together. Luckily we get to see movies together. I am excited to hear her stories and how she's growing. I love her. She is just so amazing and her heart is so big! Honestly, She loves everyone.

I know I have other friends, and many people help me in my everyday life. And I thank everyone for being apart of my life and for your support! I just felt like I need to express my gratitude for my friends more often. SO why not start here?! HA!  God Bless everyone!

PS I AM STOKED FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dare to be a Mormon

This month has been a month where I truly have been grateful for so many things. I have tried to express my gratitude and love to my Heavenly Father. On November 19th I had the opportunity of a life time. Let me begin my saying that I never thought (except for the day I'm engaged/married in the temple for time and all eternity) I would never have a better day then the day I met Elder Oaks AND got to open my mission call.  The sheer joy that emanated from me can not be faked, and doesn't occur often. So, I think its pretty reasonable to assume that October 19th, and in the future my wedding day, would be the happiest day of my life would be a reasonable thought. FALSE. On November 18th my parents and I flew to St. Louis then drove to Nauvoo, IL.We stayed at a little B&B right down next to the Pageant stage. The next morning we took a tour if the place, went to breakfast and then my life changed. The way I view things, the way I think, even the way I dress has changed. A beautiful day in the Nauvoo Temple did this for me. It was magical. It was like nothing before, the whole time I was in there all I could do was feel a feeling of conformation. I knew I was in the right place. I knew that i was doing what the Lord wanted. My stake president gave me some advice before going in for the first time, and to summarize he basically said "Going on a mission is great. But going through the temple is even more important. In order to become exalted, to live with our Heavenly Father again we must go through the temple and receive our endowment. Try not to focus as going through the temple as a checklist for going on a mission. It is SO much more than that. It is a saving ordinance. A gift from God. A blessing greater than anything ever given to you." And can I just say he was absolutely, 100% correct. Too often in life we take for granted what has been given to us from our Heavenly Father. But luckily for me, President Richards said the right thing at the right time, and I kept it in my heart and my mind as I entered the temple. Sure everyone in there knew I was going on a mission, but I made a point to focus on what I was there to do, and to feel. The feelings I felt are indescribable. I think often times we get wrapped up in what's being said and we focus so much on what's going on in our mind. I was given some advice from a good friend. She said "Just know that you are keeping your covenants. You aren't going to know everything now and if you focus on the words and trying to understand you will come out feeling confused. Just focus on the feeling. As you return to the temple things will clarify. For now, focus on the feeling" And I did. I came out feeling on top of the world. Ready to stand up for what I believe in. It was a magical experience. I also was able to go to the temple on Saturday in Orlando, (after an AMAZING time in Disney) and I had the time of my life. Seriously. I knew I was meant to be there. The spirit was so strong and one of the ladies I meant told me she needed me there. I know the Lord works in ways we can't even imagine. I am so GRATEFUL for this gospel and for the life I have. I want to end with a quote the President Monson quoted in General Conference.

"Dare to be a Mormon, Dare to stand Alone, Dare to have a Purpose Firm, Dare to make it KNOWN!"

Lead, Kindly light

Preparing for a mission can be so full of stress! And for anyone who knows me, knows that I stress easily, and it is BAD! I will stress over little things and drive me, and everyone around me crazy. However, I know that serving a mission is called of God, and all things can be accomplished through him.. so that keeps me pretty sane! Well, in all the chaos of trying to remember all the advice people give me, writing it down, figuring out where and what clothes to bring, the constant worry of if I know my scriptures well enough, etc.. I have found peace. This Tuesday, October 19th, exactly one month after I opened my call, I will be going through the temple for the first time! Anyway, I have been having a pretty good day so far! My best friend Mariah FINALLY started replying back to me. Her phone was broken :/ It made  her TONS! OHHHHHH! SO an elder from my mission wrote me on FB today.. Do you know what that means?!?! It means I will have FB on my mission! HOLLLLLAAAAAA!!!! I am just so happy at this point in my life. Everything seems to be going right, and life is just a fun journey. Sure I have little stresses and trials, but life couldn't be better! Knowing that in a few months I will be serving the Lord, and that I will get to go to the temple in a few days brings me SO much comfort!

You were meant to fly

I know I haven't blogged in a while, but life here has been crazy!! The day after I last blogged I GOT MY MISSION CALL! After it sitting on my lap, for two grueling long hours, i finally got the chance to open it after stake conference... This is special for many reasons. First, my ward and stake family got to see me open it, (well the adults because it was the adult session) and second because Elder Oaks from the quorum of the twelve was there! So after I opened my call to SALT LAKE CITY WEST I went and told my stake president, and it justtttt so happened Elder Oaks was standing right there and he congratulated me AND EVEN TOOK A PICTURE WITH ME HOLDING MY CALL! I would post it, but it's on my Facebook... my profile picture even! Anyway, so we went out to dinner after at like 11 and all I could do was smile from ear to ear. That day, by far, has been the happiest day of my life. Knowing that I will represent the Lord for 18 months starting on February 26th, was the BEST news I've ever received in my life!! I honestly wanted to share the news with everyone willing to hear! I am SO excited that my sister, Ashley, and I will report to the MTC the same day! I couldn't have asked for a better call. I see myself there and I know that this is where the people and the Lord needs me and that is what brings me peace of mind. If someone would have told me a year ago I was going to Utah for my mission I might not have applied... with the "only Utah" mentality when all my friends and family are going foreign. But KNOWING without a shadow of doubt that the Lord chose this for me and that this is where I am needed, how can I be upset? I feel honored and words can not even begin to describe the emotions I go through daily as I prepare to serve. Going out with the missionary, and Mission prep are probably the most helpful things helping me to prepare! Anyway, since then I have gone out with the missionaries, visited the temple, and picked a date to go through the temple, and gotten a promotion at work! My life is at an all time HIGH! So in the spirit of November I've decided to tell everyone what I'm thankful for... but not everything just a few things because honestly, I could write forever. The Lord has truly blessed my life for the better and I'm so grateful and forever indebted to Him. So.. I am grateful for so many things and I will start with some of the most important blessings with my life.
1. My family. Without them who knows where I would be? My mom works SO hard to run this house and make sure were all pleased, an impossible job, but something she took on to make us happy. My dad for his hard work to support this family, his willingness to serve the Lord and his example! My parents are the reason I am a member of this church, they are why I am where I am. Their testimony was mine for so many years, and now I can finally say I have my own, all thanks to them. Next is Robert. He gets on my nerves. A LOT. But he really does have a HUGE heart, he's almost always willing to serve and to help others, and ALWAYS gives the best gifts - even if it breaks the bank! He also has such a STRONG desire to serve his country! And we are PROUD! Next is Ashley! They say a girls best friend is a diamond. Clearly, they didn't have a sister. Ashley will ALWAYS love me no matter how much I annoy her. She always listens and cares for me. Love emanates from her, and her smile always seems to light up my day. Last but not least is Andrew, he is SO funny! Many people don't see it in him but he's also willing to help out and fulfill his calling. He will be a great missionary one day, and the way he plays with kids there is no doubt in my mind that he won't be a great dad! I know I said last, but I can't forget my extended family. My Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Grandparents, and even Great Grandparents support me and love me. They always encourage me and love me. I couldn't have asked for a better family, even if we don't always  get along.
2. The Gospel. The joy it brings in my life can not compare to any other happiness that you think the world may have to offer. Been there, done that. Satan works so hard, and is SO good at making the world look like a good place, like sinning brings happiness. But it's just the opposite! When the spirit isn't in your life, you aren't happy. You feel lost and not in control, and there are no worse feelings than that! The spirit directs me and protects me. My life has been filled with joy since October 5th when I opened my call... and Satan has been attacking stronger. He wants me to become unworthy to serve but I'm not falling for it. I am ready to serve the Lord.
3.Having a job. Mc.donalds is NOT the dream job at all! But it's a job. It pays the bills, it's helping me pay for my mission and it teaches me SO many things! I have learned patience, the customers that come through never cease to "amaze" me. I have learned to work with people that I may not get along with as well as one would hope. I have learned work ethic, and why it's important to work hard, no matter what you're doing. I've also learned a friendly smile goes a long way and can make all the difference. Just like the song from Annie, "You're never fully dressed without a SMILE :D " True that. Getting a promotion recently has also helped make work a better place!

Anyway, I know this is a long one, but I had a lot to say.

Title from this post was from a song I found while on my run. It's called You Can Change
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OxufE3WlGk

Never Let the Fear of Striking Out Keep You From Playing the Game

     I don't even know where to begin today, with the exception of my work out, my day began at about 3:00 PM today! Last Saturday at the Relief Society broadcast I felt the impression to talk to the Sisters and see when I could go out with them, and based on my schedule I picked today... and what an inspired miracle that was! It is truly amazing to get to work with the spirit that the Sisters bring into my life, and those they teach. It never ceases to amaze me at how wonderful these sisters are and how God works. He truly knows best for us, and sends us to people prepared by God.
   So one story that continues to stick in my mind is when we "harvesting". This means knocking on doors, and blessing the investigator, and blessing the home with peace. After knocking on over 8 doors we finally were welcomed in by a sweet guy named Chris, who had 3 sweet children. We were able to bless his home and his family. He seemed very eager to learn more and it was so touching to help him figure out that the "feeling" he had was the Spirit. Such an awesome experience. As we walked down the stairs we ran into a sweeeeeeeettttt lady watching her children. Her name was Tina, and she is why I needed to go out today. Me going today wasn't me, it was HIM. It was truly inspired.As we talked to her we learned early on that she felt uncomfortable praying in front of everyone.. including us. Most people who know me know that I feel the same way, I feel as if praying in front of others makes me feel vulnerable, as if my guard is down and that I will be judged. I tend to say the "typical" prayer in front of others.. short, sweet, and to the point. As Tina spoke up she mentioned she was "drawn to me and wanted to hear from me." As I shared with her my anxiety of praying in front of others she was touched, and tears came to her eyes. The spirit was telling me I was there for a reason. Typically, the sisters are the ones who offer to pray for them, and since she refused to pray, I assumed one of them would pray like all the rest of the people we had met today. Sister Dunford then asked me to say the prayer... I was shocked! I became scared and so nervous I began to shake.
   The power of prayer is a true blessing. I immediately said a prayer in my heart for my tongue to be loosed, my heart and my mind open and the spirit to be present as I poured out my heart to this woman I had never met.  As I said my prayer tears came to my eyes and to hers ( I wasn't looking, it was after the prayer) and the spirit present was soooo strong. In those moments I forgot I wasn't a missionary, I forgot that we were standing outside in a complex full of loud screaming kids, and most importantly I forgot about my fear. I poured out my heart and my soul, and I bore my testimony of the truths I've come to know through prayer, through this prayer. I never wanted the prayer to end, the feeling present, that spirit was more than I can begin to describe. In that moment I wanted and still want nothing more than to be out in the field. I want to teach and preach. I want to share it with everyone. And I CAN NOT wait to be able to devote 18 months of my life to this work! As it turns out, Tina accepted the invitation to watch conference tomorrow. Her spirit, and intentions were beautiful. She had such an amazing spirit to her, and her testimony was a testimony to me. She kept saying how I was shy, yet my words were powerful, and she couldn't help but draw near to me. When we had to say good-bye and go to another appointment I turned to the sisters. They looked at me and told me it was a miracle that I was there, and the power of prayer, they said the spirit there was SO strong and they were impressed.
   These sisters are truly sent from God to be in this area. The love for these people emanates from them and it is a blessing to see the love they have for others, so inspiring. Before we stepped out of the car, no matter what for we took turns saying prayers. It is amazing to see how prayer can bless our lives in just seconds. If i learned anything today it would be the power and importance of prayer. As the sisters say, "If you pray for specific reasons and asking specific questions, the Lord will answer you with specific answers." These Sisters are spectacular. They are guided by the Spirit and sent from God to this area for a reason.   It has opened my eyes and made me realize that no matter where I am sent, It will be sent from God. Utah, or Europe, it doesn't matter, I will be where the Lord needs me and speak to those prepared by Him. I feel as if I am the luckiest girl alive to be able to have these experiences and to be blessed with the Spirit. I couldn't have asked for a better Friday night. I have lived in this area for most of my life. Never in my life have I realized how wonderful the people I live so closely to really are. I have an even greater appreciation for the missionaries, and for the people they come in contact with. The love they have for these people amazes me and I began to feel this love just by being near them. I LOVE this work, and this gospel. I am SO blessed to live in an area with these people, and am grateful for their testimonies and their love and respect for our church. After inviting so many to partake in our special services this weekend, I myself have become excited more than ever to hear the words of our prophets! If anyone is intrested in this I personally invite you to visit www.lds.org or mormon.org I love my life, and those put in it. I feel blessed and loved. I know my Heavenly Father loves me, and that I am a daughter of God. I know with no doubt in my mind that we can speak to the Lord, and he will answer our prayers. What a blessing!

P.S. The title is some advice given to me by the Sisters.. OPEN your mouth, they told me. Don't fear what they will say because if you are speaking with the Spirit, they will feel it. Best. Advice. Ever.

Ok, so I know it has been over a year since I last blogged. Maybe two, who knows? But as most everyone now knows I am planning on serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints... and I am STOKED to serve the Lord and do His will! My stake President gave me a "homework" assignment of writing a letter on the topic of "Why I want to serve a mission, and how I've prepared." So i figured, why not just post my letter? I LOVE this church and gospel SOOO much and I want to share this blessing in my life with all those willing to hear. I pray you will take the time to read and understand. If you have any questions, I would love to answer anything! So,,, here it is!

Being raised in an LDS family, I’ve always known that I should serve a mission. However, it wasn’t until 2011 when I got my patriarchal blessing that I knew I needed to. I wasn’t sure when, or how but I knew I needed to. The next month I told myself that if by some miracle something happened and I could serve my mission before I graduated college I would. Within a few months the age change was announced in conference and I was ESTATIC! A few months went by and it was in the back of my mind. I became so engulfed in my senior year, applying to colleges, etc. that I had forgotten all about this promise. I just decided to do a year of college and then, leave and serve a mission. I got accepted to my dream university, all scholarships and was so excited to go, I put down my tuition deposit! While participating in the Nauvoo pageant I felt a strong urge to go visit the Sacred Grove in Palmyra, NY. In the Sacred Grove a miracle happened. As I prayed fervently to my Heavenly Father, I pleaded with him to help me to know if I should attend a full year or a semester of college. Almost as a powerful urge in my heart I got this HUGE prompting from the Spirit. I needed to withdraw from the school (even if it meant losing all the money) and go and serve the Lord. I was terrified. What would my friends think? What about all that hard earned money and all my scholarships? I called my dad in tears, wondering what to do. He gave me some of the best advice. “Brianna, just take one step into the darkness with every ounce of faith you have, then the Lord will guide you into the Light and bless you more than you can receive. Obedience is the first law of Heaven.” I knew he was right, and 1st Nephi 3:7 came to my mind “And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” That was that. My heart and mind were turned to the enticing of the Lord. It was clear that as soon as I was able he needed me to help accomplish his work. And I was more than willing.

                By now you are probably wondering why I wrote this long story. These experiences all put together have built my testimony and cemented it into the ground. There is absolutely NO doubt in my mind that the Savior listens to my prayers. I know for a surety that my Savior loves me. My faith in this gospel is higher than I’ve ever experienced. I have become so close to my Father in Heaven that I have come to realize I am truly a daughter of God and I need to act like one, and feel like one. I have no doubt in my mind that the Lord blesses all of his children. I know Joseph Smith was a true prophet and that because of the Restoration I am able to have all this knowledge. I am SO grateful for the atonement, I love being able to repent for all my sins and know that the Lord loves me. Because of my life experiences I have come to this knowledge and much more.

                For the past few months, I’ve attended every Missionary Prep class, and engulfed myself with the teaching. To go hand-in-hand with mission prep I took on myself the task of studying Preach My Gospel. In Palmyra I told my dad about a book called “The Purpose of Everyday Missionaries” and he ordered it for me. I am now almost done reading it, and trying my best to apply its teachings in my life. I read my scriptures every day without fail. They are my work. Since my freshman year I have read all the Standard works, for seminary, Young Women, and for myself. I LOVE the scriptures, they are my rock. No matter how many times I may read the same verse I always learn something new. The scriptures answer my prayers. They truly do. I have attended all four years of seminary with perfect attendance, and I am currently attending Institute taught by Brother Jenkins. The spirit in those meetings is one of large stature. It is so strong, there is no denying the gospel is true as he speaks.

                I pray every day to my Heavenly Father that as I am on my mission I may touch other’s lives, as mine has been touch. I hope to speak with as much conviction as James Richards did with his homecoming talk. I want to serve the Lord’s children. Having the piece of mind and the Gospel in my life is such a blessing. I would be selfish to not want to share this. I know that the Lord needs ME and my testimony. I want to be an instrument in his hands. I want to sacrifice my time to be able to serve the Lord. I know there is no other experience in life like serving a mission. I eagerly await the day to go out and teach, preach, exhort. I hope to gain an even greater testimony. I look at so many of my peers that come home patient, full of love, and kind. I crave to feel this, to become this person. I pray every day that I may love everyone I come in contact with, that I may have opportunities to serve others, and that I can be an instrument in the Lord’s hand. Going on a mission isn’t just going to bless the lives of others. It will bless me more than I can fathom. I am ready to put the world behind me and go forth Boldly, Nobly and Independent, until the Gospel has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country and sounded in EVERY ear. Till the purposes of God shall be accomplished and the Great Jehovah shall say, the work is DONE.  I am willing to be a servant of God. I love my Savior and this gospel so much words can’t even express.

                I want to end with a quote by Elder Bednar:

“My beloved brethren, you and I, today and always, are to bless all peoples in all the nations of the earth. You and I, today and always, are to bear witness of Jesus Christ and declare the message of the Restoration. You and I, today and always, are to invite all to receive the ordinances of salvation. Proclaiming the gospel is not a part-time priesthood obligation. It is not simply an activity in which we engage for a limited time or an assignment we must complete as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Rather, missionary work is a manifestation of our spiritual identity and heritage. We were foreordained in the premortal existence and born into mortality to fulfill the covenant and promise God made to Abraham. We are here upon the earth at this time to magnify the priesthood and to preach the gospel. That is who we are, and that is why we are here – today and always.”

               

Sister Brianna Hales

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